This is a new segment on The Alcohall that examines the best kind of pro athletes: the ones that just don't give a shit. Forgetting about every player in the NBA right now, cause they all don't care, I want to kick off this series with the great Adam Dunn. Adam Dunn is too lazy to care about his approach to hitting. He doesn't go up to bat with a plan, but instead swings at almost everything. This results in either a home run or a strikeout. Last year he had 38 home runs, and 199 strikeouts. He doesn't care! He's also super slow and doesn't hustle. Now, don't get me wrong, these are not bad things. This is what makes him the man. You know how much money he's going to be making the next four years: 56 million dollars. Boy, the White Sox sure are dumb. He doesn't care! I wish I was Adam Dunn. Most professional athletes watch what goes in their bodies, to keep in peak physical shape. Adam Dunn: he doesn't care! He eats fried chicken for breakfast and beer for lunch. And then he goes to baseball games at night where he just swings at every pitch, hoping to hit a home run, because God knows he's not hustling to second if the ball stays in the park. And he is going to make 56 million dollars over the next four years...Adam Dunn is living the dream. He doesn't give a shit, but Adam Dunn, I sure give a shit about you. You're the man.
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