Wednesday, January 12, 2011

In D-Fence of Keystone Light


Since we’re all doing, I’ll give my two cents on why Keystone Light should be the cheap beer of choice. With all reverence to Deacon and Cool Pants, they are missing the great aspects of Keystone Light. Sure, it’s getting whomped in the poll, but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to defend it. With Keystone, you have the constant worry of cops busting up a great time. With Keystone, you have a beer that needs a mascot. It’s too watery to stand on its own merit. It needs the coolest mascot ever: guy by the named of Keith Stone. Not only is it a super clever play on words with Keystone, but the guy who embodies the mascot is not a total tool in the slightest. He is every man’s 7034th choice in what he hopes to become, and to me, that says a lot about the quality of Keystone. Keystone Light is the choice of guys who are desperately trying to get laid for the first time before parents come home. Keystone Light is the choice of guys who skip dinner so they can get drunker faster, and Keystone Light is the choice of guys who typically end up throwing up at the end of the night. Keystone is the best. It’s how you tell if someone is a bitch or not who needs to grow up and stop pretending they’re in high school. So please, reconsider Keystone Light. If you do, we’ll all make fun of you.

1 comment:

  1. I think its safe to say Natty Light has wrapped up the poll, but this is a hilarious article

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