More predictions

Like Deacon, I will take my stab at predicting MLB's postseason:

NLCS: Phillies v. Brewers
ALCS: Yankees v. Rays
WS: Brewers v. Yankees
Champs: Yankees

Mostly because I picked the Brewers to be in the World Series at the beginning of the season against an AL east team, so why change now. Yankees win in 5 though. Also, I hate the Phillies, but I will admit they're good. However, Cliff Lee does not like to win in October and Cole Hamels is gay, so they will find a reason to choke, just like Cole Hamels chokes on dicks every night.

This is why the Yankees are going to win the World Series, because they do shit like this

Movie Titles Minus 1 Letter

Clearly, there's some boredom setting in.  But you can produce hilarious results if you take a great movie and drop one letter.  Here are some examples:

Jurassic Par: The story of one dinosaur's struggle to win the Master's.

It would look something like this:

Others: Fight Cub, Star Was, Finding Emo, Alf Baked

The options are endless

Baseball playoffs

The playoffs are here, and time for some more predictions. The BE and I both made predictions before the season started, and combined we did ok,but both were kind of shitty. I had the yankees and the phillies correct in winning the east, and had the cardinals winning the NL central, but they did make the playoffs so I will give myself that one. The BE called the brewers right, and the phillies and yankees winning the wild cards. Personally I think I did better, because the BE is a big loser who didn't show faith in the Yankees. For now my predictions are:
ALCS: Yankees vs. Rangers
NLCS: Phillies vs. Milwaukee
World Series: Yankees vs. Phils, Yanks in 6, the phillies offense is too shitty, and the yankees starting pitching is good enough, especially with a lights out bull pen.
And for a little pump up music lets listen to Mariano's song:

Throwback Thursday

Literally the worst sports anchor of all time.
Rebound, pass to the guy, and boom goes the dynamite

Battlefield 3

This looks awesome

In defense of Metta World Peace

Recently, it became official that Ron Artest changed his name to Metta World Peace, as suggested by the title I fully support his name change. I think its great and its hilarious. The man who once punched out a fan at a Piston's game is now an advocate for world peace, and reminds everyone that we can achieve peace as they see it written across his back. The best part of this is the interview he had on PTI. Metta could not even give us the proper definition of his first name, a paraphrased quote is that "it means unity or friendship, I had my team look it up, and I liked the sound of it." That is literally what he said, this from the man who used to drink Hennessey at the half time of his basketball games. But never the less, i do support it, just like I support Chad Ochocinco, who I also find hilarious. If I had a twitter I am sure I would want to follow both of them, because they are funny people. Also his daughter is also changing her last name to world peace, so good for the former Artest slash current World Peace family for showing soliditary.

What to Watch

This past week, in my eyes, kicked off the fall TV schedule.  After a long hiatus, It's Always Sunny and Archer came back on last Thursday.  I didn't watch either of them on Thursday because who does that? but we did get to watch them finally.  Let me tell you, they are both in their prime forms.

It's Always Sunny admittedly went through a bit of a drought last season and quite honestly, as been in a valley of sorts ever since the first few seasons.  The show jumped the shark to an extent with last week's episode, but comedy is comedy and I'm glad it's back.  Archer, on the other hand, has always been churning out top-notch episodes.  And true to form, Archer is still going strong.

Next week is the premiere of Terra Nova, which should be the best show ever.  Imagine the producers pitching the show- "It's like Lost, Avatar, and Jurassic Park all in one."  Money was immediately thrown at them.  I eagerly await the start of this show next week and cannot wait to watch it without the slug because he is the worst.

Buzz Killington dropped the news today that there will be no kegs at the wedding, only beer bottles.  Broken glass brawls will ensue.

Throwback Thursday

This video I just rewatched and found hilarious. I believe I first saw it like five years ago, but on throwback thursday, we have to bring back things which we all used to enjoy

Djokovic vs. Nadal

First of all, congratulations to the Djoker for winning the 2011 US Open, the only other worthy winner would have been Roddick. Second, the point of this post is to state how much cooler Novak is than Rafa. Rafa Nadal sucks big dick, he wears gay man capris, and the only tournement he ever plays well in is the French Open. Sick, if the best thing I ever did in my whole life was in France, I would kill myself and my friends. But lets not spend this whole thing bashing Rafa, we also have to glorfiy Djoker, as one of my gay friends said as his 8th grade yearbook quotes, "root for your teammates not against your opponents", yea that actually happened. Novak Djokovic has an amazing nicknames in the Djoker, whoever thought of that is clever as fuck. Also he is a funny guy, he goes to interviews dressed as other players and acts like them, recently he did one as Maria Sharapova, and I'm sure she gave him dome afterwards. And even if she didnt, he has a super hot Serbian model girlfriend to fullfill his needs, and since Serbia is probably a backwards country, I am sure he owns her. But probably the best part of Djoker is his on-court demeanor, he also looks like he doesn't give a fuck, compared to Nadal freaking out all the time( and Nadal looks like the king of masturbation because his left arm is so much bigger than his right). We all know the frattiest and coolest way you can act is, looking like you aren't trying and don't give a shit about something, but actually being super good at it. As Donaghy Estates likes to quote, "Fundamentals are the crutch of the talentless", Djoker is really talented and just is a boss, kind of like Adam Dunn. He acts as if he is too cool to win majors, and that just adds to how awesome he is. This whole review comes from a person who doesn't give a shit about tennis either, so this really is just a review of the two men, and I think we can all agree Djoker is way cooler.

Djoker's serbian girlfriend

Nadal's Arm, he jerks off alot

ESPN wins

Finally, in a great turn of events, ESPN has done EXACTLY what we all wanted it to do.  First, they have moved Jim Rome is Burning from actual ESPN to ESPN2, aka the channel where all the majd shows belongs.  Who honestly watches Sportsnation?  And for even better news, they have moved Outside the Lines and Sports Reporters from Sunday morning to make room for more NFL coverage.  We have all been clamoring for this change for years.  Every time Sportscenter ends and I see Outside the Lines come on, it's like a nightmare.  You scramble for the remote and try your best to hide your eyes from their painful depictions of tragedy and intrigue in the sports world.  All I want to watch Sunday is football, not something about someone who is now an alcoholic.  Let us celebrate these great changes.

Warning: Watch out for Slugs

It gives me no joy to write this. There is an epidemic currently spreading at my school, and I must warn others. Slugs are on the rise. Warning signs: they are big mooches. They use their slugness to grab a hold of everything you like and enjoy and turn it slimy and unenjoyable. Whether it is beer, or food, or even having a great time, slugs move in and take what is not theirs. The kicker is, slugs never bring anything to the table. They never offer up anything, just mooch onto your times. And they are not fun. There are people who we all use for connections to great times, but unlike slugs, we, loyal Alcohall readers, bring the raucous. Slugs bring nothing except a slimy trail of weird jokes and comments no one enjoys. Then, like the parasite they are, reflect poorly on you when they've latched on. The other big tip-off about slugs are their abject laziness. They don't have friends so they don't do anything, and then when they can't take it anymore they latch on to you. Watch out for slugs. They sneak up on you like a disease and, like that new movie Contagion, infect you. If you're not careful, and let them progress, they will turn you and everything you love into slugs. I pray this epidemic doesn't spread. But, like a zombie apocalypse scenario, this blog is a radio and I must transmit to any other survivors and to people unaffected to sound the alarm.

This is how it starts!

Obama Hates White People

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It's been like this since Irene

Culinary Review

Last night I had the distinct privilege of having the best late night treat I have ever encountered. Like any good American, I found myself at Wendy's after a night. And on the menu was a side option of a baked potato. Let me tell you, it was the best. Sure, my baconator was great, but this baked potato, at that stage in the game, could not have been better. They give you sour cream in this crazy tube. And also butter. Mixing it all together with the baked potato: I give it four stars. Next time you find yourself at Wendy's, treat yourself and get the baked potato. You will not regret it. It was a pleasure and an honor, and was the perfect way to close out an evening.

Thank God they acidified the sour cream

RIP Pavol Demitra

Yesterday former NHL star Pavol Demitra was killed in a tragic plane crash in Russia along with the rest of his Russian league team. I have very fond memories of playing with Pavol Dmitra, Keith Tkachuk, Al Macannis and the rest of a great St. Louis Blues team in NHL 98-2002. Those were great games populated by great teams. The powerplay of Demitra and the 100 mph slapshot of Macannis was just overpowering. Today we lost a great hockey player from my childhood, and someone I will remember when Coolpants and I would play hour long games of NHL on road trips with scores upwards of totals of 80 goals.

RIP

NHL 1998 intro: they don't make games like this anymore

10 Years Ago

10 years ago to the day, Nickelodeon played the Spongebob episode "Band Geeks" for the first time.  This episode, which brought us the delightful quote, "Is mayonaise an instrument," and Spongebob's rendition of "Sweet Victory," is appropriately remembered in the hearts of all people our age. It was truly a shining moment.   Many shows have gone significantly downhill since then, maybe even Spongebob, I cannot say personally. I will always compare the quality of a cartoon to the pinnacle of excellence that "Band Geeks" represents.

The Gargoyle

This weekend I was pleased to learn about a drinking technique known as the gargoyle. The gargoyle is only applicable when it comes to kegs, and it is essentially a less obnoxious, and more hilarious version of a keg stand. You simply crouch on top of the keg and drink out of the house while holding your other arm out in an attempt to look like a gargoyle crouching on top of a building. Doing a line of gargoyles with your friends always is hilarious, and you literally could not look funnier while doing it. Essentially a gargoyle is just another fun way for you and your friends to get drunk, and I hope Donaghy Estates enjoys doing one with me in our tuxedos at the wedding.

College Humor sucks but I needed the picture, and this Jabroni doesn't even have his keg on ice

This was just a good show

Umbrellas

When it comes to most umbrellas, the bottom line is that they make everyone look stupid.  You walk around with a T-Rex arm holding it up and end up looking like a marine in those old commercials with their sword up by their face, except you just have a shitty umbrella.  And even worse, most umbrellas you see on a college campus are the tiniest things ever.  They cover about 3/4 of your body so that when you look at your left arm, you find that its covered with water.  It's impossible to stop if you're not a baby.  Don't even get me started on the hassle of walking by people with their umbrellas- they're always at poke-you-in-the-eye-height.

I hate when that happens