Saturday, January 8, 2011

Adam Dunn Revisited

As much I appreciate the BE’s important article, I believe that he failed to capture the glory that is Adam Dunn. To put it simply, Adam Dunn is the fucking man. One of the pillars of fratstardom and being the man is making it look like you aren’t even trying. Adam Dunn makes home run hitting look easy, but what is even better is that he looks like he does not give a shit, which he might not. Dunn is a strike-out machine, but continues to make an ass load of money. He is lazy and cocky, but he performs. He reminds us of The Alcohall favorite, Kenny Powers of “Eastbound and Down”. Powers, like Dunn, doesn’t work out and prefers to rely on natural talent. About weight training, he comments, “I’m not lifting that shit, that’s heavy”, an attitude we can all appreciate. Dunn is real-life Kenny Powers, except his success continues. Dunn would rather drink beer than work on situational hitting, something I think we can all agree with as I’m sure we’d all rather drink beer than study or workout. But why Adam Dunn is the Fratstar that he is is because, while us mere mortals need to study or workout to succeed, he doesn’t have to and he he can still blast 500 footers and shotgun beers like the champ he is. Something else that exemplifies Dunn’s not-give-a-shit attitude is that when faced with the offer to play football or baseball at the University of Texas, he chose baseball: a sport with better odds of making an ass-load of money and also a better chance of not having to condition at all. That’s something we all can appreciate. In conclusion, Adam Dunn is the fucking man- he drinks all the time and obviously bangs all the chicks in which ever city he plays, forcing him to demand a trade to find a new crop of slam-pieces, while making more money and delighting appreciative fans, like ourselves, with his jaw-dropping home runs and complete disregard of a work ethic. Simply speaking Dunn makes it look easy, and I hope this revisit adds color to the previous post.
How Kenny Powers Trains

4 comments:

  1. Whether it's your take or the BE's, what's really most important is that Dunn is never going to put the ball in play. Strikeout or a homerun, go big or go home. That's how you fucking do it

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  2. Thanks for elaborating on my take. I'm glad we all agree that Adam Dunn is the man. We would all be lucky to end up making 56 million dollars over 4 years for doing the shit Adam Dunn does.

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  3. Adam Dunn is the man, but no one described his attitude more perfectly than the ultimate athlete who doesn't give a shit Kenny Powers. Mr. Powers described everything we all want to be when he said, "fundementals are the crutch of the talentless". Someone should make that the unofficial title of this blog becuase its the truth.

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  4. The best part about Adam Dunn is that he absolutely hates baseball. He only does it to make the moneys and get the honeys. Gotta get paid.

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