You Like Him: Randy Pearson

Bet you didn't know his last name.  Randy Pearson was a newly introduced character in the last season of That 70's Show, brought in as comic relief to replace Topher Grace and Ashton Kutcher.  However, Randy was not funny.  Bottom line, he was a huge jabroni and frankly, you like him.

Let's start this new weekly segment with the ever important definition of a jabroni.  A jabroni is someone very lame, someone who tries too hard to seem how he is.  Of course, how he is is obnoxious and probably a frequent wearer of cargo shorts.  A Jabroni is the opposite of a bro.  And no, I don't mean bro in the sense of every other fucking website on the internet.  It's so tired and overused these days, I hesitated to even include it.  You know what I mean out there, you Alchohall readers.  We all know what I'm talking about and quite simply, a jabroni is everything that it's not.  A jabroni is widely hated and disliked- he is a majd by all standards.  Johnny Suckow comes to mind.

Back to Randy.  This poor excuse for a lovable 70's character really made watching the last season of the show difficult.  He was never funny. Never.  While Donna was never the hottest girl on the show, he did hook up with her which is far too big of a feat for someone so forgettable.  He would jump into the screen and make really shitty jokes.  There was a laugh track of course so at least a bunch of computer generated noise laughed at him, but I never did.  On top of that, he had his slicked back blond hair and his dumb 70's shirt with the top few buttons undone.  I don't care if it's a few decades ago, you look like an idiot.  Thankfully, he doesn't end up with Donna in the finale and he simply fades into non-existence where he should say.  You like Randy Pearson, you enjoy him.