Top Gun

Much along the lines of the Springsteen Paradox, Top Gun provides us an interesting dilemma. It is a great movie that makes America look awesome as we dominate some faggot Russians, and it features Tom Cruise, when he was cool and not crazy, as well as Val Kilmer who has always been the man, even when he played a shitty version of Batman. These guys fly jets and have awesome nicknames. I don’t know what is cooler or more American than that. But Top Gun could be the most subtly gay movie of all time. There is an extended beach volleyball, a really gay sport to begin with, scene where four shirtless, sweaty guys play against each other for like fifteen minutes. It is weird and disconcerting. Also there is the famous sex scene to “Take My Breath Away”, which could not be more awkward. It’s like the director and writer are like,”ewwww, girls, we don’t want to be having sex with them, this is so uncomfortable.” Plus there could not be more sexual tension between Ice Man and Maverick. I thought at the very end when they hug, Tom Cruise was going to start undoing Val Kilmer’s fly. So in conclusion, Top Gun, while being awesome and showing America’s military power during the waning years of the Cold War and the Reagan administration, it is also incredibly gay of a movie and at points just uncomfortable to watch.