Life Lessons From Movies

I present to you three more lessons from movies that you ought to take into consideration.  If you remember, last week we covered Heavyweights, Billy Madison, and Jurassic Park.  Here are our next three lessons:

4) "If it bleeds, we can kill it."
This is a pretty simple one.  If you're ever up against a foe who seems impossible to kill or beat, just remember these wise words from Arnold.  With his whole squad of men dead and only a useless translator left up in the chopper, Arnold pulled it together and beat the Predator, an ugly, universe-trotting killing machine.  Always keep this in mind: no matter how fucked up the situation or monster you have to deal with is, you can find a way to make it through (assuming it bleeds).

 
5) "His movie is the Triple Deke, glove side"
"What if he goes stick side?"
"He's fancy, he'll go glove side"

It's a fact of life: fancy automatically means you'll go glove side.  To put this in a broader context, you can expect someone to go big or go home.   In the same sort of vein as the last piece of advice, if you find yourself up against someone who's pretty fancy, expect them to stick to their ways.  Say if you're playing Baseball (drinking game) against someone who loves flip cup.  They will go for that stolen base, no matter what.  So be like Julie "The Cat" Gaffney and save that shit.

6)

He's not actually the bad guy, just a weird looking dude.