Cargo Shorts

Everyone hates cargo shorts, this I know.  But it's really been on my mind today, cargo shorts (and pants, I'm looking at you too) are literally the worst things of all time.  Today, while going about my usual routine, I realized that two people who bother me both were wearing cargo shorts today.  No wonder they are so annoying, they are the cargo shorts type.  Cargo short people themselves are pretty diverse - the ones today were Indian and Jewish, as some insight.  However, they are united by their passion for pockets and their astounding ability to be annoying.

Why would one even need cargo shorts? I guarantee you do not need those extra pockets for anything ever.  If you do use them, you're probably storing candy for a later date or a new specimen for your bug/chewed gum collection, pick your poison.  The only exception for cargo shorts wearers are kids who are under 10.  Wearing cargo shorts with a shirt that has a poison dart frog or a dinosaur on it, that is an entirely different story.  But walking around a college campus with 1090 extra pockets at your disposable makes me hate you.  As a fun fact, when you search "Nantucket Red Cargo Shorts," you don't get any real cargo shorts on the first page (except for one terribly ugly pair) which is a testament to 1) cargo pants being terrible and 2) Nantucket red is a great shorts color.

Cargo nets are the best though, how else could you make an elementary school obstacle course?