World Cup of Hockey

The World Cup of Hockey Is Back

Due to the overwhelming response we received for our coverage of curling at the Sochi Olympics, we have decided to once again cover a sporting event, and this time it’s The World Cup of Hockey (WCH).

The WCH is going to be the premier sporting spectacle of 2016, because unless the Rio Olympics are as exciting as Fast 6, we aren’t going to be impressed.

There are so many nuances to the WCH and they are each going to get their own coverage, because we have 18 months to cover it all. This coverage is for the real WCH aficionados, because ESPN (who is broadcasting the WCH) will cover all of this in the 2 weeks leading up to the tournament. Our coverage is going to put you 3-steps ahead of every bozo at a late summer happy hour who thinks they know shit because they heard Barry Melrose’s late night rant about the potential of the North American young guns team. We’re going to get down and dirty, because nothing this exciting has happened in sport since Shang Tsung went for his tenth championship.

This is going to be awesome.

Not Since '96: U-S-A

This is why we're here

In Other News

Yesterday, California beat Japan in the Little League World Series. While it's great that America won it all, no one really cares about it. If you watched more than just "Little Kids, Big Drama," the obnoxiously named daily segment on Sportscenter, then I think you should strongly consider rethinking your life. Go America, I'm okay when I say I didn't watch a second of your victory.

I'd rather watch the Sandlot

Also, in other news, Hurricane Irene hit this weekend and for most of us, all we were hit with was a hurricane of Facebook status updates. This beckons a new Facebook etiquette post.

Finally, yesterday, ex-Giant, ex-Saints, wait, he's on the Panthers now? TE Jeremy Shockey saved a choking teammate this week by punching him in the back. Some rookie tried and failed to do the Heimlich so Shockey had to jump in.

Songs That Are Worse Than Reason

Ok, I know everyone has heard this song, but I just listened to it for the first time.

Fun (fun fun fun) Fact: If your going over 60 miles an hour and you roll the windows down in your car you can cup your hand and put it out the window and it feels like a boob, its pretty cool.

Stupid Places We've Been

If you didn't know at this point everyone who writes on this blog is really smart and remarkably well traveled. This post we regard one of the places I visited recently, its called the University of Delaware and it blows. I went there with the intentions of visiting a friend-of-the-blog who'll remain unamed. What I found was a place full of ignorant, short sided, and fat students. I was fortunate enough to be visiting while Delaware was playing for the championship football game in whatever league Delaware is in. It turns out no one in Delware knows anything about football and all they could manage to talk about in relation to their school was Joe Biden, who is a huge majd. While that was annoying I cut them some slack because who cares about non-major college football anyway? What really ticked me off about Delaware was when we went to a 'party' which consisted of 20 ugly people not dancing in a room about the same size as a one car garage. Me and other friends-of-the-blog tried to get the party started by dancing and shouting and making a rucus, which is essential for any cool party. What happened next was pretty pathetic. A kid who apparently lived in the apartment came over to us and asked us to stop dancing like fag's. At which point we got indignant becuase we had been dancing like party people, sexuality neutral. In a fair point I asked this fellow, who had huge moobs which I scoop dunked a lot, that if he didn't like my dance style would he mind showing me how he would like us to dance. This apparently got him really mad and he then asked us to leave. Since I like to party a lot I told him I would do no such thing, the result was a big scuffle and us eventually leaving because there were quite frankly a lot more of them than there were us.
I was really taken aback by this because the moral of the story was that we got thrown out of a party because we were having a good time, which the Delawarians(?/ who cares) took to mean that we were gay. I would like to say that The Alcohall doesn't care if you're gay or straight so long as you don't do gross stuff in public because that is just rude.
Back to the point up until that fateful trip I thought that people generally accepted gay's and to find a group of people who genuinly hated them was upsetting. But as all great men do, we packed up and partied on, because when it comes down to it its not about where you party its about who you party with. Unless your partying in a pool, then theres no fattys allowed.

Beast Mode

The Seahawks have been taking a lot of flak on this blog recently, but I would like to say that I am a fan. For all the props we give to the greats like Adam Dunn and Kenny Powers for not giving a shit, we don't give any to the Seahawks. If any group of athletes cares less than the Seahawks please present them. This is a group of men who made the playoffs with a losing record. And its not like they had some close games, all 9 of their losses were by 15 points or more, thats a joke. But like all the greats they knew that you can go far by not doing anything.
In tonights game their winning touchdown was a 67 yard run by Marshawn Lynch, (previously recognized for being the man), he broke atleast 6 tackles on that run and looked like the man. How was the rest of his night? On his 18 other rushing attempts he managed just 64 yards, that means he more than doubled his total yardage on one run. He knew he could score whenever he wanted, but he also knew that if he waited till the last possible moment he would only have to try on one play instead of the whole game.
Another touchdown came when their tightend fell down, then got up and wandered into the endzone and caught a touchdown pass. For all of that guys athletic ability he ultimately scored by falling down and making everyone else think he was out of the play, then effectivley saying "Psyche" and running into the endzone for the easy score. That is hilarious.
In tonights game the Seahawks really won me over, I never liked Pete Carroll at U.S.C. but if he can keep of this style of coaching, he may win me over yet. I mean he orchastrated a losing season and still got a home playoff game, I give credit where credit is due.
So for all of our avid readers, take sometime to re-consider your view on the Seahawks, a team whose motto, like that of the Alcohall is "Fundementals are the crutch of the talentless".