World Cup of Hockey

The World Cup of Hockey Is Back

Due to the overwhelming response we received for our coverage of curling at the Sochi Olympics, we have decided to once again cover a sporting event, and this time it’s The World Cup of Hockey (WCH).

The WCH is going to be the premier sporting spectacle of 2016, because unless the Rio Olympics are as exciting as Fast 6, we aren’t going to be impressed.

There are so many nuances to the WCH and they are each going to get their own coverage, because we have 18 months to cover it all. This coverage is for the real WCH aficionados, because ESPN (who is broadcasting the WCH) will cover all of this in the 2 weeks leading up to the tournament. Our coverage is going to put you 3-steps ahead of every bozo at a late summer happy hour who thinks they know shit because they heard Barry Melrose’s late night rant about the potential of the North American young guns team. We’re going to get down and dirty, because nothing this exciting has happened in sport since Shang Tsung went for his tenth championship.

This is going to be awesome.

Not Since '96: U-S-A

This is why we're here

Life Lessons from Movies

We're reaching into the archives and resurrecting an old column just in time for Christmas. In this special holiday edition, I'll give you some very important life lessons you may have missed in some atypical Christmas movies.

1. The uggos and hobos of New York City can help you better appreciate your family and friends

In Home Alone 2, amidst the sadistic beatings of two burglars in an empty house under renovation, Kevin befriends a pigeon lady in the park and runs from a mutant cab driver. The pigeon lady becomes Kevin's only friend in the sea of people trying to capture him while his family is blissfully unaware of his absence. She even gives Kevin a special dove gift to remember her by. When Kevin is finally reunited with his family, his friendship with the pigeon lady has led to him to appreciate his family despite all their flaws.

2. If you have a machine gun, don't give it to the cop who is single handedly ruining your scheme.

In Die Hard, arguably the best Christmas movie, John McClane is able to fend off some terrorists even while unarmed. He takes one of their machine guns and festively informs Hans Gruber of his new deadly acquisition. He then goes on to wreck some terrorist shit and save his terrible ex-wife.



3. From the movie Screwed, don't kidnap any dogs or you'll end up with too much Danny Devito

Merry Christmas Alcohall readers, don't get Iced this Holiday season