Mission Accomplished

Unknown Fratstar

As I have already covered Jesse Palmer, I'll move to his hockey counterpart Barry Melrose. Barry Melrose is probably a way cooler person than Palmer, but is pedigree and his resume to be ESPN's go to hockey guy is probably equally as weak. Melrose played for like five seasons in the NHL, and then coached the kings for 3 years before being fired, and he was fired while Gretzky was still on the team. He then coached the lightning and was fired in mid-season in 2008. It is literally the epitome of mediocre as a professional career both on the ice and on the bench. But somehow due to enthusiam, American hockey ignorance, and the oxymoronic fratty mullet, Melrose has staked his claim as the face of hockey commentators in America,(he doesn't challenge Don Cherry). And for you readers who know who Don Cherry is, good for you. I love how ESPN shows his resume when he is talking, it is literally pathetic. There are hundreds of more qualified announcing, I personally would like to see Mike Richter or Scott Stevens get in there. But cheers Barry Melrose, you pulled it off through connections and good hair, and that is inherently fratty.

Scott Stevens is literally the man

NFL Draft Tonight

The first round is tonight (now) as you all should know.  Personally, I think Cam Newton will be horrible. But we won't get into that now

To pump you up:

Who the hell is Mel Kiper?

Best of the Best

Finally Best of the Best on Sportcenter changes from the one-legged wrestler, it has gotten old. Its a cool story, he won after overcoming a disability, thats great. We won't debate on whether or not it was an advantage or not. But the biggest problem with Best of the Best is that Bobby Ryan's goal was beaten by some stupid basketball play. That goal was so filthy, it was two dangle seshes into a goal, it did not deserve to be beaten, but now I ask you which goal was better Ryan's or Ovechkin's from a few years ago?

I personally think its Ovechkins

An American Hero

They'll look like fools!

Here are some invaluable ways to make your gullible friends look like fools.  Be careful when you use them, they will most certainly never work again.

1. "It's impossible not to get dizzy if you move your head back and forth with your mouth open" Instant classic
2. "70% of people can't touch their thumb knuckle to their bottom teeth more than 10 times without getting dizzy." Dizzy is a common theme
3. Best for last: "If you pour a closed salt shaker into your mouth, it will still taste like salt."

You'll look like him, a fool with cowboy boots and shorts

Would you like a tampon with that Summer Shandy?

While Coolpants may have beat me to the punch on talking about our new favorite seasonal beer, I think I would like to discuss the other aspects of enjoying a beer with a fruit additive. As my colleague, Donaghy Estates can atest we have both become fans of fruity beer, his is a strawberry abita, mine is summer shandy. Personally, I am not sure if there is anything questionable about it, its not like its hard lemonade, which is definitly questionable, its a delicious beer with a hint of lemonade that is perfect for summer. Sure after I drink it, I have to go hang some dry wall, watch football, and eat beef jerkey, but thats more of a personal thing. I ask all readers to seek this beer out and try it before they cast their judgements. And no I do not support Mike's hard lemonade or smirnoff ice, those are super lame and majd probably drinks those.

Summer: Limited Release

Here I am, on my last day of classes for the year.  Summer is just around the corner, right after I finish my god forsaken finals and write another term paper.  This is a crossroads folks.  We all don't have that many summers left ahead of us.

With summer comes the inevitable release of brewery's summer releases.  There's summer Magic Hat, summer Sam Adams, you name it.  But hidden in the shelves of your local store is a gem brought to you by the folks at the Leinenkugel.  Leinenkugel, a brewery I hadn't ever heard of until this past summer, releases quality beers all year round, flavored and regular.  However, every summer, their time to shine truly comes.  Each year, Leinenkugel brings us their Summer Shandy, a heavenly lemonade-beer.  It's taste is simply indescribable, you have to try it to believe it.  And to all the doubters, there is absolutely no shame in this beer.

Enjoy some Summer Shandy with the onset of your summer.  We'll all have jobs coming around the bend as school comes to a close.  We'll all be returning to wherever we call home.  But it's time to fully realize the bigger picture.  Summer Shandy shall hopefully be around to happily remind us of the approach of many summers to come, but summers soon won't have the same meaning as they do now.  They soon won't be breaks from our usual routine and will instead just be another reason to hate being at work.  Enjoy your summers, they are truly a limited release.

Snow Day: What's up with that

Recently there has been an influx of people who are really interested in the Snow Day article. I don't know what has happened in countries like Canada, Malaysia, and India but somehow people in those countries, I think, love this article. It has been the most popular one for the last week, and I'm pretty sure in no part of the world but the highest mountains is it actually snowing. I just thought people would find this amusing and funny, and after a weekend spent with the BE and Coolpants we could not figure out what the fuck is going on with this.

What is so interesting in this?

You like them

This is a clip from a fraternity at IU who really suck, and if anyone thought this is cool they also suck

P.S. this is Donaghy Estates brother fraternity